


Red's Diary » An UnderLust-UnderFell Crossover «

by IniquityHalo



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Ecto-Genitalia (Undertale), Gay Sex, M/M, Mental Coercion, Mental Instability, Mind Manipulation, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 19:05:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 21,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IniquityHalo/pseuds/IniquityHalo
Summary: So uh, hey y'all. It's me, UnderFell Sans, or Red. Doesn't really matter. This is a journal *cough* diary that I created to document all that happens while our friend UnderLust Sans (or just Lust for short) is um, "visiting" us? Eh, that's not really a good word to use. "Being held hostage?" Anyway, hope all you kids like it.





	1. Introduction

Hello! It's IniquityHalo, the author!

Just some disclaimers before you start the story. This is **not** a continuation of "Twisted Love." It is more of a rewrite of "A Fold in Space", which is an UnderFell-UnderLust crossover that I have already started on.

In this timeline, Lust hasn't had the chance to meet the human yet, as the human has not yet fallen down into the Underground. Instead, he is accidentally folded into a fluctuation in time and transported to a different universe, UnderFell.

Warnings: explicit sexual scenes, crass language, mental instability, physical abuse, gore, psychological torture, Stockholm syndrome, suicide

This story will be written as if UnderFell Sans, or Red, wrote it inside of a diary journal. Because of that, sometimes the scenes may be limited because the character (Red) had a limited view of whatever was happening in that scene.

Only Red's thoughts will be written in the story, so any other characters' thoughts will have to be assumed through Red's thoughts or through the reader's impressions.

There may be times where there are italicised words at the top of the page describing the physical outlook of that specific page.

Pay heed to the dates in the titles, as they may jump a few days at a time, or just go on to the next day.

Now that that's through, enjoy the story!


	2. Diary Entry 1, Sep. 18

Dear Diary,

Welp. So I guess this will be a thing now. Probably should introduce myself, although no one's gonna read this anyway.

I'm Sans, Sans the skeleton. I live here in UnderFell with my bro, Papyrus, or "Boss". We're both part of the sentry team in Snowdin, where we live, but Boss is a higher-up, meaning he's also part of the Royal Guard. It's this elite force that everyone's trying to get into, which means that royal guards hafta always be on alert, 'cause people try to dust them to get their positions.

 _Tibia_ honest, I don't really care about being in the Guard. It's a relief actually; I don't hafta report to no one besides Boss, and people aren't targeting me as much.

That being said, that doesn't mean I'm not targeted _at all_. I mean, this is UnderFell. Everyone's gotta stay on their toes if they wanna stay alive. It's every monster for themself out here.

At least I have Boss. Some poor smuck out there is probably alone and about to be dusted soon, with no one to back them up. But I have Boss protecting me against other monsters, what with my measly 10 HP. I'm probably one of the weakest monsters alive out there, HP-wise.

Life with Boss ain't easy though. He can be extremely violent at sporadic amounts of time. I live in constant fear of whether he'll decide to take it out on me or not that day. It's not like I can run away. I have nowhere to go.

But enough of the pity story. Although life with Boss sucks, it's still life. I'm still alive. Not a lot of monsters can say that.

Alright, now that all that's cleared up, now to the reason why I started this diary. Nobody knows I have this, not even Boss, and I'm gonna keep it that way. Something strange happened today, and I want to make sure I document everything that happens from now on.

So today, me and Boss were patrolling our usual route, finally making a circuit through Snowdin forest, when we spotted someone in the distance. It didn't look like no one we've seen before. For one, he was wearing bright colours, purple and blue. And another, he was a skeleton monster.

I had thought me and Boss were the only skeleton monsters left in the Underground, so it was quite a surprise to see this newcomer.

Boss immediately ordered me to take out the new guy, so I stepped right to it, not wanting to anger him with my slowness.

It was quite easy really. I think the other guy was just as surprised to see another skeleton as we were. His fighting style was almost the exact same as mine, 'cept he used purple magic, but it seemed that he didn't practice as much as I did. I took him down pretty easily, pinning him to the ground with bones.

When we got closer though, I realised just how different this new skeleton really was. His clothing choice not only clashed with everyone else in the Underground, he also didn't have any scars whatsoever. Literally _no one_ didn't _not_ have scars.

But what startled me the most was how similar we both looked. Besides the clothing, lack of scars, and purple heart-shaped eyelights, he could've passed for me, had I been slimmer and a little shorter.

I almost didn't catch Boss's command to take him home, which I scurried to follow. Picking up the long-unconscious body, we paced back to our home, where Boss instructed I lay the new skeleton down on our couch.

I hadn't realised until then that it had been strange of Boss to not order me to kill him straight away. Wasn't that what we were supposed to do? I just shrugged, going with whatever he wanted. It wasn't like I could object. He would hurt me for sure if I did. And so, we left the skeleton on the couch, turning in for the night.

 


	3. Diary Entry 2, Sep. 19

Dear Diary,

In the morning, we woke extra early in case our guest decided to leave without our consent. But it was an oversight, as he was still sleeping on our couch, knocked out cold from our previous battle.

Boss ordered me to make breakfast for once while he attended to our guest. I wasn't really sure what he wanted me to make, but since he always cooked spaghetti, no matter the time, I decided that would be the safest bet.

I'm not the best cook, but I'm pretty sure my spaghetti still turned out pretty decent, save for a few burned bits here and there. It adds flavour, right? (Haha, who am I kidding) When I returned to the living room, I was surprised to see that Boss had stripped the skeleton of all his clothes and had fitted him with a black leather collar.

My hand flew up to my own red collar, realising what this was all about. He wanted something new to play with, didn't he? I would be disgusted if I had a say in it. But I didn't. S'not like my opinion really mattered anyways.

Boss was gently rousing the other skeleton awake, the smaller skeleton blinking his sockets blearily. He seemed pretty surprised by his surroundings, until he remembered what had happened before.

Realising that he was practically naked, the skeleton jumped up and away from Boss, a defensive posture coming over him.

"Who are you? What did you do to me?" I was surprised by how pleasant the other's voice could sound, even with the threatening growl underneath. He had obviously sensed the magic dampener on his collar, as he flexed his fisted hands nervously.

I was glad Boss never outfitted me with one of those, as I'd never be able to get anything done. I rely too much on my magic. My collar was merely for show, no magical properties attached.

"We found you in Snowdin forest. That's our territory, so you belong to us now." Boss stated, his trademark smirk widening. The other skeleton looked horrified at this new information, immediately whipping his skull around to find the nearest exit.

"Oh, you won't make it with the two of us in the way." Boss smiled, seeming to enjoy the smaller skeleton's discomfort. Jeez, Boss was such a sadistic dipshit.

I opted for the safe option: not showing any emotion at all. I had gotten good at it, what with being around Boss all the time. If he even _sensed_ my dissent, he would smash my skull in. It had happened before.

The other skeleton was very distressed, unsure of what to do. Finally, he settled with sitting back down on the couch uneasily. Boss smirked, pleased.

"Alright, little one. From now on, you'll have to call me master, as you are my pet." The newcomer's sockets widened at that, the panic seeming to settle back on him again.

However, he recovered himself extremely quickly, almost too quickly for us to notice. It was fascinating, if not a little scary. The skeleton leveled his now-calm gaze at Boss, sockets narrowed the fraction of an inch.

"No." He reiterated calmly. "You don't own me. I won't call you master."

Boss's crimson eyelights flashed dangerously, and suddenly, I was afraid for my smaller duplicate. But he quickly calmed down, smiling a  saccharine smile at the skeleton. That only made me feel even more afraid.

But surprisingly, Boss relented, replying, "That's alright. It'll take some time to get used to." The other skeleton knit his eyebrow ridges, obviously not liking that answer, but he let it go for now.

He turned to me, which caught me off-guard. "Do you know where my clothes are?" He said quietly, watching me cautiously with those purple eyelights. I cleared my throat, then turned helplessly to Boss. I didn't want to do something that would go against his wishes.

Boss paused, seeming to think for a bit, before saying, "Just let him borrow some of your clothes, Sans. It'll work for now."

I wasn't sure, but I thought I could see a stiffening from the other skeleton when Boss said my name. I shrugged it off, gesturing for the other to follow before stepping into my room.

"So uh.." I was never one for social interactions. "You're new around here, huh?" The smaller skeleton nodded absently, waiting near the door of my room as I shuffled through my mess of clothes.

"Well, these will probably be a little big on you, but I think they'll fit." I handed him a pair of black shorts with yellow stripes and a red sweater. "It's fine." He said quietly in his pleasant-sounding voice. God, how did his voice sound like that? It was deep, but not overly so, and with just the right nuances to sound pleasant in one's ear.

Eh, it didn't really matter. I laid down on my bed with an "oomph", putting my hands behind my skull as I closed my sockets, letting the other get dressed. I mean, I know we're just  skeletons, so there's nothing to be modest about, but it would still be awkward to stare.

"Ahem." I opened my sockets, turning my skull to look over at the skeleton, who had just cleared his throat. Startled, I toppled off of my bed, a red blush coming across my face.

The other skeleton was standing near the edge of the bed. I hadn't heard him walk. From the last time I had seen him, he had been on the other side of the room. How had he moved without me hearing him!? Very few people could sneak up on me like that!

The skeleton actually cracked a smile, smiling apologetically at me as he bent to help me up. "Are you always this clumsy?" He joked, watching me with amused eyelights. I blushed even darker at that, becoming even more flustered. God, why was I such an awkward individual?

"No." I grumbled, turning my flushed face away. Finally calming down a little, I turned to look at the other skeleton. "Hmm. Seems to fit you okay." The skeleton looked down at himself. The clothes were rather baggy on him, but all in all, they looked fine.

"Seems to be." He replied nonchalantly, watching me carefully. That piercing gaze made me look away, clearing my throat nervously. "Ahem. We should probably head back, otherwise Boss'll get mad."

I could see the other skeleton narrowing his sockets at something I said, but I couldn't think of anything wrong I had mentioned in my previous sentence. Since I didn't see anything wrong, I ushered him out of my room.

Boss crossed his arms, glaring at me as we re-entered the living room. "What took you so long!?" He demanded.

"W-We were only gone for ten minutes, Boss." I sputtered, ever the eloquent speaker. He only continued to glare at me before finally turning to our guest. An unsettling expression came across his face as he looked him up and down. The skeleton tensed under the scrutiny, but didn't say a word.

"Yes, you look good. Now, my pet, you can sleep on our couch for now until I find a proper place for you to stay." The smaller skeleton blinked in annoyance, staring at my brother. "I'm not your pet."

I stared at our guest openly. Was he asking to get hurt!? If he kept saying things like that, Boss was gonna throw a fit that would not only harm him, but also me.

But Boss merely ignored his words, seeming almost pleased with the other's reaction. What was he thinking? That expression was very unnerving, like the way a lion eyed his meal.

"You'll learn to know your place, Pet. For now, Sans will watch over you and make sure you don't do anything stupid." He smirked, whisking his scarf back before turning and walking out the door. 

 


	4. Diary Entry 3, Sep, 20

Dear Diary, 

Today, the skeleton was very stubborn with Boss, testing his patience to the limit. I was so afraid that he was just gonna explode suddenly and kill us out of sheer anger, but for some reason, he was always able to control himself around the other skeleton. 

This confused me, as Boss never had any problems losing it around me. If he even got a _little_ mad, he would already be taking it out on me. It was just the level of anger he had at the time that determined how much damage would be dealt that day. There was never a _not_ getting hurt. Seems like that little skeleton had Boss wrapped around his finger without even trying. Not that I was complaining. Boss not blowing up and hurting me was good enough for me. Better even. Maybe life would be better with this new skeleton living with us. 

Boss pulled on his boots and gloves, getting ready to leave for work today. As a royal guard, he did much more than me. They had to patrol the sectors they were assigned to, and sometimes even other sectors, ensuring that gangs weren't formed or monsters weren't becoming too savage.

Since I was just a sentry, I just had to sit at my stations and pretty much do nothing. A sentry was _supposed_ to look out for potential humans and kill them if possible, but humans rarely, if never, fell down here, so we never really had to do much. The only reason I ever still diligently attended to my stations was because Boss would routinely check if I was still alert and on the job. If he found me slacking off, I was in for a beating that day. 

"Sans." My skull snapped up, looking at my brother. "Yes Boss?" "Keep a socket on this one. He's a difficult one." Boss smirked at the other skeleton, but it was almost endearing. What the hell was up with him?

Boss walked out the door, finally leaving us alone in the house. He had told me before that he had talked Undyne into letting me off the job for a few days to attend to our new "pet", since he wouldn't be allowed outside for now.

I turned to face the skeleton in question, who was now sitting on the couch, nonchalantly observing the things around our house. Maybe to document it for future use if he wanted to escape?

I approached the skeleton on the couch, standing just a few feet away as to not make him uncomfortable. Although that didn't seem to be a problem. He seemed to be very calm, although he was technically a hostage.   
"Hey.." I cringed internally. It seemed that I wasn't any better at socialising with this skeleton than I had been before. "Yanno, I never caught your name. Pretty sure it's not "Pet"." I winced. Ugh, I just made it more awkward.

The other skeleton didn't seem fazed in the slightest. "I think you already know my name." He smiled at me like we had a secret, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

Sighing, the smaller skeleton, dropped the pretenses, getting to the point. "My name is Sans."

I stared at him, dumbfounded, with wide sockets. He had the same name as me? Well, it could've been a total coincidence, but I didn't think so. There were barely any more monsters after the war. The likelihood that a monster had the same name as another was very slim, if not none. Especially one as unique as mine.

The other Sans sighed again, then patted the seat next to him, obviously indicating that I should sit. Still a little shell-shocked, I decided to follow what he asked. If there was one thing I could do, it was follow orders.

"Now this is going to be strange, but I want you to listen carefully, alright?" I nodded absently, focusing more on the sound of his voice than what he was actually saying. God, it was so pretty.

Snapping back, I realised what he had just said and focused intent crimson eyelights on him.

"Are you familiar with the 'Many Worlds Theory'?" He asked, staring at me intently. Squinting my sockets in confusion, I shook my skull 'no'. The other Sans sighed, looking around a bit before turning back to me again.

"There is a theory which states that every decision we make, different timelines, or universes, will deviate from it. There are possibly infinite deviations in time due to our individual choices, and those timelines may form different universes, where the same individual may become altered from before."

"What I'm saying is, I'm from a different universe, which contains all the same people and places as here, but it is different due to different choices from a main timeline."

My sockets widened. He was saying that he was from.. another universe entirely? That was insane! But that meant..

"Wait, so then, you're me, but from a different universe?"

"Basically." The violet-eyed Sans watched me carefully. "But we are still very different in many ways because our universes are different."

This was a lot to take in. I wasn't sure if I understood it all, but I understood one thing. This skeleton in front of me, this skeleton was apparently _me_ from another universe.

This was insane! How was that even possible!? "H-How did you even get here?" I stuttered, still processing all of this new information.

The smaller Sans blinked, then looked down, a tinge of sadness coming over his eyelights. "I.. I'm not sure. One moment, I was in my world, and then the next, I was here. I had been scouting near my post in Snowdin forest, just strolling around. And then, suddenly, a feeling of being tipped upside-down came over me. When my vision cleared, I was in your Snowdin forest."

I blinked. Wow, that was some story. I may not have understood everything that he said, but I knew for certain that this was not supposed to have happened. This was crazy, even for my world.

"Do you know what your universe is called?" I blinked my hollow sockets, turning to face the other Sans again. I hadn't realised that I had spaced out. "Um, well, this place is called UnderFell, if that's what you mean." 

The other Sans nodded, seeming appeased by that answer. "My world is called UnderLust." 

I squinted my sockets at him. Under.. Lust? What was that about? I was catching on quickly that our universes were actually versions of a main universe, and it seemed that the names of our worlds matched the "themes" of our world. Like how my universe was called "UnderFell", which was a dystopia where everyone killed for LV. Hence the name "Fell". But "Lust"..? 

I decided not to ask. There would be a better time for that, and I had already learned more information than I really wanted to today. 

A realisation suddenly occurred to me. We were both named Sans. That was going to be way too confusing for us, and I had already come to the conclusion that I wouldn't call the other Sans, "pet", like Boss wanted to. I brought this up with the other Sans, and he seemed to consider our problem, musing softly. 

"Technically, you are 'UnderFell Sans', and I'm 'UnderLust Sans'. We could shorten those to a nickname. You can be Fell and I can be Lust." It made sense to me, so I nodded my assent. He smiled at me, and I could feel my soul flutter strangely in response. 

 


	5. Diary Entry 4, Sep. 21

Dear Diary,

Boss already left the house to go do his "royal guard" duty stuff for the day. I was alone in the house with Lust again, and I felt almost eager to spend more time with him again. 

It was strange how eager I felt, but I wrote it off to being exposed to a novelty. Didn't everyone get excited with new things? 

Lust was actually really nice to be around. He was very social, unlike me, and seemed to always know what to say to make me feel comfortable. He was always very calm and collected, despite him basically being our prisoner. It interested me, how he could keep his composure so well in any situation. 

Today, I told him about life here in UnderFell. He was really easy to talk to, listening to me with attentive eyelights and putting in his own commentary every so often. 

I talked about how, in UnderFell, all of the monsters had become violent after our King had declared the law sentencing any human who fell down to death. To prepare for the day we might encounter a human, the King ordered frenzy to be administered to all monsters. Frenzy was a type of drug that drove a monster mad until they finally killed another being. Every monster was given this drug to strengthen our LV, but of course, that meant that many monsters fell victim to others. 

Those that got doused with the stuff and survived were never the same again. The drug was unstable, so it would damage a monster internally and externally. Eventually, frenzy was outlawed, in concern of our falling population. 

Unfortunately, even after frenzy left a monster's system, that monster would still continue to be violent. That was why all of the monsters in UnderFell were so violent, getting into fights constantly to raise their LV. Of course, it was nothing compared to when frenzy was first administered, but the Underground was never the same again. 

Lust listened to the entire story, his violet eyelights misted with sadness. "It seems that your life here is very difficult." He looked down at the carpet, toying with the edge of his sweater. "I wish I could help, but I guess that's silly to say. Something like this would have been happening for a long time already."

I sighed, turning back to him. "I didn't tell you that story to get your pity. Like you said, it's already happened. There's nothing we can do 'bout it besides deal with it."

He watched me carefully, violet eyelights appraising me. He turned away, casting his eyelights downwards. "Yes, I suppose it is." He replied quietly. His words seemed to carry more weight than if he had just been listened to the story. I stared at him curiously, wanting to ask more about it, but in the end, I decided against it. It was his privacy after all.

Leaning back on the couch, I put my arms behind my head, relaxing. Breathing out a sigh, I turned a crimson eyelight towards Lust. "What's your world like?"

He stiffened at the question, then relaxed, going back to his usual composure. I frowned slightly at that reaction, but didn't say anything.

"Well.. My universe is much more peaceful than yours." He mused, turning his purple eyelights away. "No one tries to kill each other or anything. They're all pretty nice, as long as you keep to yourself."

"Wow." I muttered, looking down at my sneaker's shoelaces. "Your world sounds so much better than mine." I couldn't hide the note of jealousy that crept into my voice. It was hard to even imagine a world where you could walk around without the threat of being dusted.

The softer skeleton looks over at me, smiling wryly. "Heh, yeah.." He looked off into the distance, his face clouding over as he contemplated.

I watched him, my red eyelights filled with confusion. One minute, He was saying how great his universe was, and the next, he was giving off the vibe that he hated his universe. What was up with this guy?

Grunting, I pushed myself off the couch. "Have you eaten anything?" I hadn't seen him eat since me and Boss had captured him.

The purple-eyed skeleton looked down, a little sheepish. "Not really.." I sighed, grumbling to myself before motioning for him to follow. "C'mon, let's see what's in the fridge."

Hearing the other's soft padding behind me, I walked on into the kitchen, approaching the fridge. "50 gold that it's all lasagna." I snickered over my shoulder. Lust smiled at my demeanor, patiently waiting for me to reveal our lunch.

Oh, what do you know? Lasagna filled pretty much every single shelf. I pulled out a pan from the multiple stores, careful to balance it as I closed the fridge.

I walked past Lust, setting the lasagna in our beat-up looking microwave to heat it. I hummed while I waited, watching the smaller skeleton out of the corner of my socket.

He had gone back to observing his surroundings again. It was actually kinda fascinating to see how intent his heart-shaped eyelights became when he was focused on something.

I tore my gaze away, looking at the beeping microwave. Sighing, I opening the microwave door and grabbed the pan, not even bothering to wear mittens. It wasn't like we had skin to burn or anything.

I set the smoking lasagna on the table, getting out a couple knives to slice up the pieces.

Lust watched as I set a piece of lasagna in front of him. He stared at it for awhile, as if reminiscing something. Did his brother cook lasagna too? Watching him carefully, I saw him acknowledge me staring, before opening his mouth slightly to eat.

As he opened his mouth, he revealed small fangs not unlike my own. Of course, mine and Boss's were much larger and sharper, but still. I watched as he brought a piece up to his mouth, a small flash of his purple tongue being seen before he swallowed the food. Seeing those fangs and tongue made my soul beat a little faster for some reason.

Lust scooped up another piece with his fork, then looked up, watching me curiously. I blushed light crimson, turning away quickly. Shit, he probably thought I was some creep now. I berated myself internally.

Surprisingly, he only quirked an eyebrow ridge in amusement at my flustered display. That only made me worse. I pulled my hood over my head, hiding my face. "Don't look at me like that." I grumbled, my voice muffled from the fabric.

Lust looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. Instead of teasing me further, he only mercifully turned back to his lunch, continuing to eat.

After we were both finished with our food, I returned to the couch and flopped back down. Lust followed me, staying a respectful distance behind.

There was so _much_ that I wanted to ask him, like how he was coping with being our prisoner, or what was his world _really_ like. Or even just his personal preferences and habits. It was weird. I just really wanted to get to know this strange skeleton better, but it only seemed that the more he learned about me and UnderFell, the less I learned about him.

But I couldn't ask him. We barely knew each other, and I was technically his "jailer". We weren't here for bonding time.

But I still yearned for it just the same.

 


	6. Diary Entry 5, Sep. 27

Dear Diary,

It's been about a week. I'll hafta go back to work soon.

I've been given this long to get to know Lust, but I still feel like I barely scratched the surface. He has this way of making you feel like you're finally getting closer to him, but you're really not. He's very open and sociable, treating me very well. Better than anyone I've ever met. But although he answers most of my questions, I still feel like he's only giving me half-answers.

At least I can maybe say we're acquaintances now? Or as close to acquaintances as you can get when you're someone keeping the other person hostage in your own home.

The thing I probably ask him most about is his universe. It just amazes me that there could even be a place where no one even fights.

I'm pretty sure he's only telling me the good parts of his universe. That much I know. I mean, it's obvious by the sadness his eyelights take on when he talks of home, that it's not all butterflies and sunshine. But when I question him about it, he dismisses me, saying it's much better than my world, so why does it matter?

I enjoy spending time with the softer version of me though. It's like a refresher. There's really no one in UnderFell like him: polite, smiling, sociable. Of course, his smile ain't fooling me for one second. M'not saying it's not putting up a show; it's just too similar to my own for me not to notice that it's fake.

But I don't question it. It's probably the only thing I don't try to ask him about. Because even though I don't know what caused him pain before, I understand. Some things are just not ready to be said.

And besides, even if he wanted to talk about it, why would it be to me? We're not even supposed to be this chummy. So I leave it be.

Boss comes home everyday in the afternoon. But surprisingly, he doesn't do as much to Lust as I thought he would. It's obvious that Lust has caught his attention in a way that hasn't been for awhile. I don't blame him though. Lust's presence is actually pretty magnetising.

I think I know what Boss is trying to do though. As much as I dislike him, he's still my bro. I can read him pretty well most of the time.

He's attracted to Lust. I'm not sure how much, but he is. Right now, he's trying to give the smaller skeleton space so as to win his trust. Feed him, give him shelter and a place to sleep. That much would usually win anyone over here, if they were in the same situation as Lust had been. Alone outside with no protection, just free EXP for some lucky monster.

But what Boss doesn't know is Lust is from a different universe. Things don't work the same where he lived as they do here. So no matter the efforts Boss puts to gain Lust's trust, it ain't working. Boss doesn't realise it right now, but he will soon enough.

I'm hoping that won't happen in the near future. Because if it does, things are gonna get messy. Nobody wants Boss unhappy, because when Boss is unhappy, he gets mad. And when he gets mad, someone usually gets hurt.

For now, it seems that he's content to wait until Lust breaks under the pressure. I'm actually quite surprised by the patience with which he deals with Lust. He must really like him.

Why does that make me feel my soul clench? It must be the dread I feel for the pain I know will eventually have to happen when Boss loses it. Yeah, that's it.

 


	7. Diary Entry 6, Oct. 2

Dear Diary,

I'm back on work again. Boss wouldn't let me off of work for more than a week. The only reason he did so was because it was absolutely necessary. I had to help Lust _break in_ to our home so that he could get used to living with us. Because apparently, he's gonna be staying for awhile.

Staying at my sentry posts is boring now after so many days spent with Lust. All I hafta do is sit there. Nothing ever happens. Boss doesn't even come by to check on me any more, so there's no point in really being there.

After the 3rd day on the job with Boss for some reason missing my "make sure Sans is working" checkup, I decided I had enough. I teleported from my Waterfall station directly into our living room.

I knew where Lust would be. Ever since I went back on the job, Boss has been leashing the violet-eyed skeleton to a hook in the wall in the corner of our living room, to make sure that he doesn't escape.

He had seemed indifferent while Boss hooked him up, but I recognised that face. It was the face I made when something was making me panic, but I had to hide it so that Boss wouldn't get mad at me.

I walked up to him casually, trying to seem cool and offhand-ish. From his lack of expression, I guessed he wasn't really impressed. Welp, it was worth a try.

"Heya Lust." I said, making myself at home next to him. He didn't flinch or move away or give any indication that he cared. Instead, he regarded me before looking back off at the wall, which was what he had been previously doing before I came in.

"Jeez, tough crowd." I muttered to myself, pulling my knees up and my arms behind my skull. I leaned against the wall next to Lust, letting out a sigh as I closed my sockets and relaxed. God, it was nice not having to sit on a stool staring at nothing for hours.

We didn't talk, just sat there together. Me, relaxing. Him, I wasn't really sure. I couldn't tell if he was uncomfortable by my presence, uncomfortable at the situation, uncomfortable at being a prisoner, or just bored. He was similar to me in some ways, but still very different. I still couldn't read him the majority of the time.

After a few hours of complete silence, I finally stirred from my nap, checking the time. My shift would be over soon. I should head over so it at least seemed like I was there the whole time.

Getting up, I glanced over at Lust, who still hadn't moved from his position. It wasn't that he was exactly rigid, just that there was an air about him that suggested he wasn't at all comfortable with his surroundings. I wouldn't be surprised, given the situation.

I turned away, magic enveloping me as I slipped through time and space. As the blackness cleared, I could see that I was back at my Waterfall station again. Sitting down, I sighed, waiting for the shift to end.

 


	8. Diary Entry 7, Oct. 7

Dear Diary,

I made sure to visit Lust everyday during work. He still hadn't talked, but that was okay. I knew he couldn't be taking his situation very well.

I don't know if I helped by being there, but I was hoping that by visiting him everyday and keeping him company, he wasn't as alone, even if we didn't talk.

And it had gone on like that for almost a week, just me sitting there, accompanying him, while he sat there, motionless. Until today.

It had gone on like it usually did, just me sitting next to him against the wall, resting my eyelights, when suddenly,

"Knock knock."

I paused, blinking my sockets. Did he..?

I turned my skull towards Lust. The purple-eyed skeleton was watching me with that amused smile playing across his face.

"Knock knock."

I hadn't heard wrong then. Well, I never passed up an opportunity to hear a joke. Especially since Boss hated them, so I haven't made one in ages.

"Who's there?" I asked the classic return line, watching the softer skeleton curiously.

He smiled, almost mischievously. "Etch."

I cocked an eyebrow ridge in confusion. "Etch who?"

"Bless you." He smiled widely, gauging my reaction.

My sockets widened as the joke sank in. "Oh my God. That was _horrible_." I wheezed as I began to laugh. His jokes were just as bad as mine!

He grinned even bigger at my laughter. His smile really was quite beautiful actually.

"Knock knock."

Oh, again? I couldn't wait to hear this. "Who's there?"

"Cows go."

"Cows go who?"

He smiled, laughter dancing in his eyelights. "No silly, cows go moo!"

Oh my God, that was even worse! And that only made it funnier! I snorted, covering my mouth with my jacket sleeve. "Jeez Lust, who taught you these?" I choked out, tears springing to my sockets from how hard I was trying to suppress my laughter.

And our day went on like that, all the way until I had to go back to my station to seem like I had been there the whole time. We threw jokes back and forth. It was the most I had laughed in a long time. And it was amazing to hear my softer duplicate laughing too. It was like a tinkling of wind-chimes. Much deeper of course, but just as soothing and pleasant to listen to.

I realised that I wanted to hear his laugh again. Not just today, but everyday. It was amazing making someone else happy, when all I had been used to doing was helping spread misery and pain. That was just the way it was here. Nobody really laughed. There were only glares, and the threat of being dusted hanging over you every second of your existence.

What had become of this place we called home? There had to have been a time where laughter was everywhere, where people weren't afraid of each other and instead, strived to make everyone laugh. To spread happiness.

I found myself longing for that time, and in turn, wishing to be closer to Lust again. Why was I always thinking that these days?

Well, whatever. One thing I know for sure is, I want to hear his laugh again.

 


	9. Diary Entry 8, Oct. 12

Dear Diary,

Me and Lust now talk everytime I come and visit him. Whether it be jokes or just stories. I hoped that, in a way, I was helping his situation and making it better by giving him something different to think on than his current circumstance.

And it worked, I think. He seemed more happy then he had been the first few days I had come to visit him.   
Today, I decided to try something risky. Lust hadn't been out of the house since we had captured him, and it was obvious he hated being confined. I knew if Boss found out, he would _skin_ me alive (Haha, no pun intended), so I had to be extremely careful about this.

We were just exchanging random puns, when I decided to broach the subject.

"So.." I fiddled with my jacket sleeve. Always the nervous mess, wasn't I? "Um.. So you haven't really been out of the house for awhile.. I know you hate it here. I was wondering.." I gulped. Just the thought of disobeying Boss was terrifying me, but I knew I had to do this. I wanted to.

Lust watched me, his heart-shaped eyelights carefully appraising me. His sharp eyelights betrayed what he was thinking. If he hadn't already guessed what I was about to say, he must have had a close idea.

"I-I know I can't take you outside, b-but if I only took you out for a bit, would y-you like to come?" My speech was becoming broken up by my anxiety at the thought of being caught by Boss.

Lust continued to watch me. He seemed almost.. proud? It was hard to read the expression on his face. "Yeah, of course." He said quietly. Then surprisingly, he grabbed my hand.

I jumped at the contact, feeling shivers go up my ulna. "Wh-What?"

He smiled. "I'm taking that you're teleporting us there, right? That would be the easiest way."

Ah, right. I wiped the figurative sweat off my brow. Just an overreaction.

I gripped his hand back, feeling more stable with it in my hand than I ever had in ages. Swallowing nervously, I reached over and unclipped the leash from his neck. It was enchanted so that only someone not _being_ leashed could take it off. Otherwise, Lust would've done it a long time ago.  
  
Concentrating on making the jump through the void, I closed my sockets, feeling around the fabric of space. Our surrounding faded out, then melted back into a different setting.

We were in Waterfall. I hadn't known where else to go. Snowdin was too close to home. Boss might catch us. And Hotlands was always sweltering.

I looked at the dozens of pools surrounding us, casting off a eerily florescent blue glow. Lust turned away, sitting down at the edge of one of the pools. I followed his example, sitting down next to him.

Something about Waterfall was always calming to me. The soft trickling of water could be heard, no matter where you were. The blue glow from the cave mushrooms and ceiling crystals were stronger here too. And the clear water allowed you to see all the way to the bottom of the cavern floor.

Lust looked out across the pool we had sat by. To be honest, to call it a pool was an understatement. The thing was more like a lake, spanning across half of the cavern space.

"Thank you."

The words were so quiet, I could barely hear them, but when I turned to look at him, he was still staring out across the water. There were tears at the edges of his sockets and he looked happier than he ever had in a very long time.

 


	10. Diary Entry 9, Oct. 15

Dear Diary,

Since that first day I had brought him to Waterfall, I've tried to bring him there everyday. It's a great risk, what with Boss having the possibility of finding out at anytime, but it's worth it. The way Lust finally releases the little tension he has been holding, finally opens up and smiles genuinely. Finally at _peace_. It's more reward than I could ever ask for.

I finally found out why Boss hasn't been checking up with me at my sentry stations. Apparently, there's a hare gang that's building in strength, and they have ill intentions towards our King. That's not really surprising. A lot of people have hatred towards the King, with only a few of the upper elite actually basking in his reign.

And maybe they are right, that they should blame him for all the pain caused throughout the Underground, if I hadn't met him for myself.

Boss had took me with him once to meet the King, but only to introduce me as his brother. This was standard for a lot of higher rank royal guards. The King run a "scan" on them, which was pretty much getting to know their personal life more, to be sure that they were trustworthy.

I had been prepared to face a tyrant king, who would make people grovel at his feet. But I was surprised to find him very gentle, especially for a monster in this world.   
He was far from polite, but he acted more like a military commander, authoritative and strict. However, he was fair. I could tell from the little time that I met him.

But what was more, I could feel an intense pain, of sadness, resonating from him. More so than I had ever felt from anyone before. I hadn't realised until then just how much he was hurt by the loss of his family.

It was common knowledge that both his children had died, and after he ordered the administration of the drug to strengthen our species, how his wife fled in disgust at his actions, leaving him to rule a kingdom by himself. But I guess no one ever thought about how the King felt after all of this. It was hard to, after the effects of frenzy.

I didn't realise that my mind had wandered off, until Lust's sweet voice cut through my thoughts. "One time, you asked me what my world was like."

I looked up in surprise, staring at the smaller skeleton. He was turned away from me, looking across the water to the bank on the other side. He turned back to look at me straight on, his violet eyelights serious.

"I'm going to honest; I wasn't all that truthful with you. My universe _is_ much more peaceful than yours, but it's far from perfect." That much I could guess. I listened attentively, curious to hear what his home was really like.

For the first time since I met him, Lust looked awkward and vulnerable. He had a slight purple tinge to his cheekbones and he wouldn't meet my eyelights.

He sighed deeply. "You're going to be disgusted with me when I'm finished telling you. You won't even want to be my friend anymore." I opened my mouth to object, but he stopped me, raising his hand in a silencing gesture. "No, it's alright. You deserve to know, after all that you've done for me."

"My universe is very similar to yours. Same people, same places. But something different happened at the beginning of my universe's story that is different from yours."

"We were monsters made up of hope, love, and compassion, just as you guys used to be."

"However, on one unfateful day, the royal children, Asriel and Chara, died tragically. The deaths of the children brought to King Asgore's attention the dwindling population of our species. There used to be billions of monsters who had lived peacefully on the surface with the humans. But after the war, almost 99% of the monsters were killed, leaving only a few hundred that were forced underground."

"And so, the royal decree went out that: all monsters were required to have sex, to increase the diminishing population, alongside that decree was the one concerning humans, establishing that: any human who fell down would be killed on sight."

"At first, the enforcers of the law, the Royal Guard, maintained this main decree. They checked that each monster who was of age was sexually active, and they did so in as civil a manner you could when concerning this particular law."

"But then, the rapings started. When the decree had first ensued, many monsters protested against it. However, the number slowly died down as the rapings increased. Peer pressure forced monsters to have sex, until everyone was pretty much doing it."

"Eventually, the Royal Guard slowly lost their main purpose. Instead, they became more focused on themselves, becoming the most sexually popular elite group of people. They spent more time in their fame than enforcing the law. They became what is now known as the Royal Harem."

"I was born after these laws were already set in place, so I never knew of a world different than this. It wasn't even uncommon for monsters to lose their virginity around 14 years old, although the specific age that it is required was 16."

I blinked. Holy shit, that was the craziest story I had ever heard in my entire life. It was even crazier than the "multiple universe theory" stuff. I felt like I should be disgusted, but all I felt was pity for the purple-eyed skeleton in front of me.

"..Um.. H-How old are you?" I had always thought that he looked younger than me, but it was hard to tell when you were a skeleton.

"17." He murmured, setting his skull on the top of his knees, which were brought to his ribs. He seemed to be bracing himself for my reaction.

Wha-!? 17!? He was still practically a child! Ok, maybe not a child, but still! Like, I was already 24 and Boss, who was my younger bro, was 22.

I spluttered a little in surprise, managing to stammer out, "D-Did you.." However, my voice was failing me from the extremely embarrassing question I was trying to voice.

But he seemed to know what I was asking though. "Yeah. I lost my virginity when I was 8."

Oh my God! Was he serious!? I wanted to ask how, but I couldn't. My words were failing me, my jaw moving but no sound coming out.

He watched me struggle for words, his violet eyelights appraising me carefully. "If you wanted to know, it wasn't consensual. But that's all I'll say about it." He looked away again, not meeting my eyelights.

I felt like I was constantly being hit by a truck. All of this new information about Lust was so jarring, I could feel my soul being wrenched with both intense sadness and sympathy.

He had been raped when he was still in fucking elementary school! I couldn't even imagine the terror, the confusion, of 8-year-old little Lust as he was violated in a way he had never been before. It was sick and horrible. It was somehow even worse than my world, although it was already pretty bad here.

Once I finally calmed the turmoil inside of me, I focused on Lust, who had kept calm as he always did throughout my intense reaction to his story.

There was still so many questions I wanted to ask him. Like, if he just never came out of the house, couldn't he hide from the law? Or, how many times did he have sex? Was he scared of it now, because of that incident when he was 8?

But just one look at him, and I knew today, he had said as much as he would. He probably said more than he wanted to anyways.

So instead, I grabbed his hand, gripping it reassuringly. There was no romantic intention, just a gesture of sympathy, of a "I'm here for you" kind of thing. He looked down at our adjoined hands, and then back up at me. I watched him carefully, saw how his heart-shaped pupils seemed to be measuring my reactions.

Making sure I held eye contact with him, I squeezed his hand again and offered him a small, hopefully reassuring, smile. Then I turned back to look out over the water just as we had been before our conversation.

I could feel Lust's eyelights staring at me for awhile, but then he too, eventually turned back to look across the water. I thought I could see him smiling just a little out of the corner of my eye.

 


	11. Diary Entry 10, Oct. 20

Dear Diary,

I took Lust to Waterfall again, as I've been doing every single day since the day I decided that this was more important than appeasing Boss. 

Today, I decided to take him somewhere new. When I was little, I used to take my brother to the echo flower fields. That was a time when he was still smaller than me, and depended on me to protect him. It had been a long time since either of us had been there, 20 years at least.

The minute I teleported us there, Lust's eyelights brightened at the sight of all of the echo flowers. I had to admit, the field did create a pretty picture, what with all of the flowers swaying in the non-existent breeze and casting a pale blue glow over the cavern walls. The soft whispers from the flowers sounded like fabric rustling in the background.

For a few minutes, all we did was spend time walking through the field, admiring the flowers. They whispered random sentences every time we brushed past them, scattering their words through the air.

Finally, we found a clearing with only a few flowers scattered around the edges. We sat down together and just enjoyed the peacefulness and the faint light from the ceiling crystals and the flowers around us.

Eventually, I built up the courage to speak. I had been thinking a question over and over for the past couple of days.

"Lust." Those beautiful violet eyelights turned towards me. I swallowed nervously. "This is a super random question, but deal with me, okay?" He scrunched up his face in confusion, but nodded his understanding.

"Have you.. I dunno. Ever liked someone? Or dated even? Since you have that.. experience?" I cringed. That came out a little wrong.

However, Lust only seemed thoughtful, looking off into the field and humming contemplatively.

"No. I don't think I ever liked anyone that way. I've never even dated anyone actually. I just didn't want to commit myself to someone who I didn't even care for. The closest person that I love would be Pap, but that's only brotherly love."

I bunched my eyebrow ridges together in disbelief. He'd been with so many people though! He hadn't even liked _one_ of them?

I could feel the despair beginning to overwhelm me. Why was I feeling like this? Why did I care if Lust never loved someone that way?

That's when I realised. I was in love. I was in love with the purple-eyed skeleton in front of me. Now that I think about it, I must've fallen in love with him the first time I laid my eyes on him. All those times my soul beat a little faster when I talked to him, when he accidentally brushed me. That electric feeling would sing through me.

I tried to cover up the miniature breakdown/revelation I was having. I didn't want him guessing what I was thinking. He was a pretty smart guy, and he could probably easily guess if my face slipped.

"You know." Lust's soft voice broke through my thoughts. I looked over at him, who was staring at his shoes. "It's weird really. That I've never even _felt_ anything for anyone, after all my.. "experience", as you would say it." He chuckled humourlessly, not moving his eyelights away from the ground.

"It's almost like I don't have the capacity to feel for others that way." He finally looked up, gazing into the distance. His eyelights were misted with sadness. "I'm just a mistake. I don't even work right."

I stared at him, my scarlet eyelights wide with shock. _Excuse_ me!? A mistake!? He was probably the most perfect person that I had ever met, personality and physicality-wise! No one here was more considerate than him, more polite. He was still fairly civil with me and Boss, although we were literally keeping him as a pet.

I could feel myself stammering in disbelief. "Lust! What are you even talking about!? I could name plenty of reasons why you are amazing! If any, I should be the one who's a mistake! I shouldn't be so weak, following Boss's orders and keeping you locked up.."

Lust put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him. I hadn't realised that tears were beginning to prick at the edge of my sockets from my rant. I hated that everytime I got riled up, my tears would just spontaneously appear.

He was smiling at me, his face soft with happiness. "You're so good to me, Fell. I don't deserve a friend like you. And you're wrong. You're one of the strongest monsters here."

I could feel my skull colouring red from the praise. "B-B-But you don't even know anyone here besides me and Boss!" I stuttered, my nervousness increasing by his touch.

Lust laughed gently. "I don't need to." He sighed, then leaned on me. I jumped a bit in surprise, but quickly relaxed to not disturb him.

Looking down, I could see Lust's heart-shaped eyelights gazing off into the cavern. His soft, steady breathing eventually calmed down my beating soul, and together, we sat like that, just enjoying each other's company.

 


	12. Diary Entry 11, Oct. 23

Dear Diary,

I decided to take Lust back to the fields again, a few days later, because he seemed to really like the place. We walked through the flowers, their whispered words echoing all around us. I thought that to be a suitable way to describe them.

We wandered together until we found a small pond in the middle of the field, and sat down at the edge of it together. There, we began to chat as we always did.

"So.. What is your brother like in this universe?" Lust asked, gazing at me with curious eyelights. I sighed. This was one of the more difficult topics to talk about. Of course I knew that he knew what Boss was like, since he interacted with him everyday in the afternoon, but I guess he wanted to hear my opinion on him.

"Well, he's really rough and mean. He's a real shit-head pretty much every single day 24-7. If I ever say or do something, or even say or do something that _suggests_ I'm going against him, he'll bash my head in."

"Like this one time, I hadn't picked up this sock in the living room for awhile. I was a real lazy ass back then. That day, I dunno what happened. Maybe I said something that just irritated him, but suddenly, he was beating the crap out of me."

"I was so scared that I didn't even fight back. I was probably shocked or paralyzed with fright. That was the first time he beat me, but of course, it wasn't the last. The beatings just got more frequent from there. But that first one was probably the worst. I lost one of my teeth permanently from that beating, and so I had to get this one." I fingered the gold tooth.

"But it's not too bad now. If I just follow what Boss says, it's usually pretty fine. I just have to make sure my face doesn't betray any dissent, because he'll even beat me up for that."

I shrugged like it didn't really matter, 'cause _tibia_ honest, it really didn't. I'm pretty sure there were people out there who had it _way_ worse than me.

I looked back at Lust, who was staring at me open-mouthed. "Fell.. I didn't even know! I-I'm so sorry you have to go through that.."

"Hey." I put my hand on his shoulder. "It's really not that bad. It's certainly not even worse than your situation had been. Boss doesn't even beat me up too much anymore."

Lust sighed, turning away from me. I let my hand drop, letting him mull over my words. He would eventually accept them, because really, how could beatings be worse than rape?

After a time, we picked up our conversation again, this time with a lighter subject. We had begun to compare the different foods in our universes, and for some reason, that turned into a debate about what our fruit names would be.

"Maybe Apple? Or Cherry?" Lust laughed, smiling at the obvious ridiculousness of this conversation. "Dude, are you just giving me names of red fruit? That's so racist." I complained, smiling in spite of myself.

"It's not racist! They're just fruit!" Lust protested, having trouble containing his smile. "They're still about different colours." I sniffed, turning up my nasal cavity to make my point.

Lust smiled at my display. "Fine then. Your name's going to be Red now." He laughed. "Oh my God, that's even worse, Lust!" I exclaimed, making him laugh even harder.

Once our laughter had faded off, Lust sighed, smiling a little sleepily before laying his skull in my lap.

I had to keep from startling again. It was hard for me to remember that Lust was from a different universe, where people actually showed affection to people they cared for without fear or hatred. I couldn't even remember the last time I hugged my brother. Maybe when we were babybones?

I thought that he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke again. "Have you heard the story about the 3-leaf echo flower?"

"Uh, what?" I had never heard anything like that. _Tibia_ honest, people around here didn't really tell stories much. And what's more, I was pretty sure there was no such thing as a 3-leaf echo flower.

"There was this tale that said if you found a 3-leaf echo flower, you were granted one wish, and that wish would come true." I looked down at Lust, who was gazing wistfully off into the distance.

"That's bullshit." I said bluntly. "I've never even _seen_ an echo flower with only 3 petals. I've only ever seen them with 4, 5, or 6 of them. They don't exist."

"They do." Lust replied. I looked down at him disbelievingly. "Have you seen one?"

"Well, no." I rolled my eyelights, huffing a little. "But it's nice to think that they exist, don't you think?"

"Whatever. I still think they don't exist." I muttered, looking away. I felt Lust shift a bit, getting into a more comfortable position.

I thought that he had dropped this dumb subject, until he suddenly said. "So hypothetically, what would you wish for if you found one?" I sighed. Really?

"I already said, they don't exist, so you can't even "make a wish" or whatever that crap is." Lust turned to look up at me. "It's just hypothetical though."

I rolled my eyelights again. Fine. So he wasn't gonna drop the subject unless I answered him. Guess I had to  humour him then.

I thought for a bit, then said. "I guess.. I would wish for frenzy to have never been created, or for the monsters not be become so violent. What about you?"

Lust hummed softly, his sockets closing. "Hmm.. I would probably give the flower to the person I loved, so they could make their wish."

Ok, what? That couldn't really be his answer. "Are you serious?" I looked down at him again, arching an eyebrow ridge.

"Yeah, why?" He looked up at me curiously. I spluttered a little. "Wh-What? Isn't it obvious? Why wouldn't you want to make the wish? You found it yourself!"

Lust shrugged, looking back at the field of flowers. "I don't really have anything to wish for. If I got a wish, I feel like it should go to someone more deserving than me."

"What about improving your life at home?" I mean, if I was him, that would be the first thing I would think about.

Lust sighed. "The things that happened to me have already happened. I'll hold them forever inside of me. There's nothing that could change that."

"And besides, like I said, I'm not worth it. I'd rather give my wish to the person I love, if I do love someone in the future, so that I could see them happy. Because if I love them, then seeing them happy will make me happy, and that'll be the best wish that I could ever have."

I blinked. I was pretty sure my face was set into a mask of confusion. That was probably the shittiest response that I have ever heard in my entire life. Why would you throw away such a good opportunity like that?

Lust watched my expression carefully. He turned back to look at the flowers surrounding us, his skull still resting in my lap. "It's ok if you don't understand, Fell. Maybe one day you will."

I looked down at the peaceful figure in my lap. Sometimes he could be so confusing, being super sappy and a romantic and all that, imagining a cliche life.

But deep down, I wished that I could understand too.

 


	13. Diary Entry 12, Oct. 24

_The handwriting is quickly scribbled and messy._

Dear Diary,

Something horrible happened. I messed up BAD. Really BAD.

Last night, when the three of us were having dinner together like we did everyday, Boss seemed to be suspicious about something. I didn't really pay attention to what.

Boss hasn't really done anything to Lust besides leashing him everyday to make sure he doesn't escape. He actually treats Lust fairly well, which constantly surprises me since Boss is not prone to niceness. Probably still trying to gain his trust.

But now I realised what was making Boss so suspicious. I didn't realise I had a echo flower petal stuck to the bottom of one of my sneakers. I probably accidentally stepped on one while we were there yesterday.

I realised that too late. Of course Boss would be suspicious. We hadn't been there in years, and I was supposed to be attending to my sentry stations.

Today, while I was sitting at my sentry station in Hotland, like I usually do for the first few minutes of my shift before going to get Lust, Boss actually appeared for the first time in weeks.

I wad super nervous of course, but I pretended like everything was normal, like I had been manning my stations like a good little sentry for the past weeks.

He came up to my station and immediately grabbed the collar of my jacket, pulling me across the countertop. "What have you been doing, Sans?" He demanded, his eyelights glowing dangerously with red magic.

I swallowed convulsively. "Wh-What?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Why were you in the echo flower fields?" Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit.

"H-Heh, whadaya mean, Boss? I haven't-" I choked off as he pulled me closer. "I swear Sans. If you are lying to me, I will hurt you so bad that you will be begging me to dust you."

I gasped, my eyelights bulging a little as Boss's grip began to suffocate me. "N-N-No, Boss please!"

He pulled me over the counter, slamming me to the ground. I whimpered from the impact, my skull ringing and everything blurring around me.

"One more time. What were you doing in the echo flower fields?" I whimpered pathetically, shaking in fear. I couldn't tell him. If I did, then Lust would get hurt too.

He brought up a boot and kicked me hard in the ribs. I wailed painfully, curling in on myself. "Boss, please, I-" He kicked me again, summoning a bone construct to slap me across the face in the process. I screamed again, feeling blood trickling down my face.

He began a barrage of assault on me, kicking and hitting and punching and everything just _hurt_. It hurt so bad and I was screaming my throat raw and begging him to stop but he wouldn't. He kept going until finally, _finally_ , he stopped.

I groaned painfully, blood trickling down from everywhere. My skull, my ribs, my arms. I could barely see through the blood dribbling down my face. My sockets were dark as I breathed in shakily.

"Now Sans." Boss's voice was almost scarily soft. "What have you been doing these past few weeks?"

I trembled in fear, weak from the beating. I was sure that I was on the edge of life right now. There was no way I was going through another beating like that without dusting. And the one thing that scared me more than Boss was dying.

I hated myself, but I broke down right then and there. I told him everything, how Lust was an alternate version of me, what his world was like, how Lust had been sexually abused and now, how he couldn't even love anyone anymore because of it.

I said everything, and through it all, I was sobbing because I knew I was betraying the one I loved for fear of death. I was so pathetic and weak.

Boss listened to everything with an eerily calm expression. When I had finished, his expression still did not change, but he motioned for me to get up and follow.

I staggered to my feet, almost falling back down again. Everywhere hurt and I could barely stand. I could see that a trail of blood was following me from the many wounds that had just been inflicted upon me.

Boss picked me up and set me on the counter of my station, leaning me against one of the support beams. He began to heal me, as he always did after he beat me up. Otherwise, I'd just be fresh meat with my already low 10 HP.

Once all of the wounds were healed, he handed me a cloth to rub off all of the excess blood left behind. I felt numb and my body still ached, but I wasn't in extreme pain like I was earlier.

As I was wiping off the blood from my face, I could feel something new. A long, vertical crack ran from the top of my skull to the top of my left socket, small hairline fractures following it along the way. That was gonna leave a permanent mark. 

"C'mere, you disbehaving _bitch_." I shuddered at the threatening tone underlying his words. "We're going home." 

"N-Now?" Our work didn't end until at least 6 more hours. If we skipped out now, Undyne would probably have our heads. "Yes. I have some things to attend to at home that we can't wait for. Undyne will understand." 

I gulped. Oh no. There was really nothing worthwhile at home unless we were at home, except for Lust. He was going to do something to Lust. I just knew it. 

I was so scared. I didn't want him to hurt Lust, but I knew that if I spoke out right now, he would hurt me again. And my body was still aching from the beating from before. I remember that struggled breath when I was certain that one more blow would've had me turned to dust. 

And so, because of the pathetic little wuss that I was, I didn't say anything. I only followed behind him numbly, thinking of all the horrible things he might do to Lust and how I was too much of a wimp to do anything about it. 

After what seemed like the longest time, we finally arrived at our house in Snowdin. Boss opened the door, letting himself inside and almost slamming the door on me as I followed my way behind. He made a straight line to where Lust would be sitting, leashed up, in the corner of our living room. 

Boss approached the smaller skeleton, who was sitting in the corner staring off at something. He didn't even seem surprised that we were home early. The only acknowledgement he gave us was a blank stare at me. His face conveyed no emotion, but I could still feel my guilt well up inside me.

"Pet, I am going to move you into my room. I think it's been long enough for you sleeping out here in the living room." Lust finally looked up, his face devoid of any expression whatsoever. I marveled at how good he was at keeping a neutral face. 

He didn't say anything as Boss unleashed him and picked him up. I could see Lust tensing when Boss touched him, but he didn't object. I followed behind at a safe distance as he walked upstairs to his room. He didn't pay attention to me following behind him. 

Boss set Lust on his bed, where the smaller skeleton situated himself so that he was in a more comfortable position sitting cross-legged. He looked up at Boss, his face still eerily devoid of any expression. It was almost defeated, as if he already knew what was going to happen next and was just waiting for it to come.

Boss finally turned around, acknowledging that I was there. He narrowed his sockets, his aura still radiating off waves of hate. I swallowed nervously.

"What are you still doing here? Get the fuck out." He spat, glaring at me balefully. I started, stammering mumbled apologies before backing out the door. He slammed it shut in my face.

What was gonna happen to Lust? I went into my room, which was right next to Boss's room. Thankfully, the walls of our house were pretty thin, so if I leaned my skull against the wall between our rooms, I'd be able to hear what was going on in there.

"I've been letting you off easy for far too long. As my pet, you should be obedient. But you went somewhere **without my permission**." I cringed fearfully from the obvious dangerous tone of Boss, fearing for the other's life.

"I think it's about time I discipline you." Oh no. This couldn't be good. I heard fabric rustling, as if cloth were being moved. Then the distinctive sound of bone running over bone.

Lust's breath hitched, but other than that, no other sound came out of him. What was Boss doing?

"There, that's right. Form a pretty little cock for me, my pet." I heard Boss purr. Oh my God. This couldn't be happening. I felt my soul clench painfully at the thought of what was going on in there.

Boss hummed appreciatively. "What a pretty purple." I heard him shift, and then an unusual sound (bone against ecto-flesh?). Lust gasped slightly, but he was actually fairly quiet for someone being sensitively touched.

"Hmm, seems that Sans was right. You are pretty experienced with these kind of things. Guess I'll have to find a different way to make you fall apart." Lust's breathing actually stumbled, probably from the surprise at this new information. Boss knew. He knew everything.

A soft squelching sound came through the wall and Lust actually moaned loudly in surprise. I could imagine the look of shock on his face.

"Have you never had something _inside_ of you? I've only put two fingers in, and already, you seem much more responsive. You've had anal sex before, haven't you?" The look on Lust's face must've said everything. "Oh, you haven't! Then this will be very.. _interesting_.."

The distinctive sound of a zipper being pulled down could be heard. I inhaled sharply. Oh fuck no! This _really_ couldn't be happening right now! Please tell me this wasn't happening!

I curled up on my mattress, putting my hands over my non-existent ears. I didn't want to hear this; I didn't want it! But unfortunately, as I said before, the walls of our house were really thin, and I could still hear everything going on in the next room.

For the first time, Lust finally spoke. "N-No.. d-d-don't do this.." I could hear the fear completely saturating his voice. "Pl-Please, just.. AHHH!"

I knew that was the moment Boss had penetrated Lust. I could hear the fast, frantic breathing from Lust. I could even _see_ the tears threatening to spill over his sockets. 

The squelching sounds intensified, and I could hear Lust crying out painfully. "Ah-hhh! St-Stop, It h-h-hurts!" Lust's pleas dissolved into moans and sobs, but the sounds only increased in pace.

Lust was crying freely now, slick sounds underlying his loud moans and cries. He was trying to tell him to stop, but he couldn't control his vocal chords. All he could manage was a wet scream, and more sounds of pain interlaced with pleasure.

It was so horrible to listen to, but ashamedly, his voice still managed to sound beautiful and melodic to me, even when he reached a different octave as he screamed in pain.

"That's right, pet. Take it like a good little boy." The sneer in Boss's voice was obvious. He apparently was enjoying every second of this.

"Nghhhh.." Lust was still crying, his moans broken up with hitching sobs. "Ah.. You're so fucking tight.." Boss growled as Lust whimpered fearfully.

"H-hh-ahhh.. mMPH!" I could hear Lust's muffled moans as Boss assumedly kissed him. The slick sounds of their tongues tangling together were broken by Lust's whimpers.

"Mm.. You taste so sweet, pet. Not quite like sugar. More subtle than that." Lust panted heavily, not answering him. Boss tsked, and the mattress creaked as he moved a little.

"You look positively tired, pet. I think you've had enough for today." Another squelching sound could be heard as he pulled himself out of Lust. I heard him gasp painfully, then fall silent, his breathing wheezing softly in exhaustion.

The door to Boss's room clicked, and I heard him leave the room, his boots clicking down the hall. He was probably going to get washed up and then prepare dinner.

I hesitantly peeled my arms away from my skull. I hadn't realised that I had curled up into a super tight, tense ball, my arms over my head. I felt like my soul had been punched over and over, although nothing had happened to me.

Stretching out my stiff limbs, I tiptoed out into the hall, looking both ways. Boss was nowhere to be seen. I could hear the distant sound of water running far off in the bathroom.

Walking as quietly as possible, I opened the door slowly, then peeked in.

On Boss's bed, Lust lay sprawled naked, his clothes discarded on the floor. His ribs rose up and down weakly, and although his sockets were open, they were lidded and as black as night. Tears ran down his face.

As I approached, I didn't know whether to cry to blush madly. Lust's ecto-flesh was still summoned, his purple length glowing faintly and his opening dribbling out red and purple cum. It stained the bedsheets underneath him with their colours.

"L-L-Lust.." I felt like I was choking. I couldn't form my words properly. Lust turned his skull towards my voice, small pinpricks of light coming back to his sockets.

"Fell..?" His eyelights grew bigger, until I could finally make out their heart-shapes. He smiled at me weakly, actually happy to see me.

I could feel my soul breaking. How could he even _look_ at me like that when he knew that I was the reason this happened? And I knew that he knew. He was a smart skeleton, and Boss's slip of words weren't very vague.

He reached a wavering hand out to me. I came closer, until he could touch me. He pulled me down so he could see me better.

Lust's gentle smile turned into a small frown as he looked at me. Why was he frowning? Did he just realise that should be mad at me instead of smiling like I was his best friend?

But he only reached up and traced the new crack on my skull. He looked at me, his violet eyelights full of sadness.

"I'm sorry he did this to you. It's all my fault.." Wait, what? I wasn't sure if I was hearing this right. That was literally the same thing I had been thinking earlier, except in reverse.

"Wh-What? L-Lust, if anyone's at fault here, it's me! I was weak and pathetic and I told him because I was a wuss and I couldn't keep my mouth shut because I'm a fucking _wimp_ and I was more afraid of dying than betraying you.."

"Shhh.." Lust put a finger on my mouth. "It's alright." I could feel hot tears running down my face. Because it was _not_ alright. None of this was alright, but I couldn't do anything about it. And it only made me feel worse because Lust was consoling _me_ when _he_ was the one who had just been fucking raped.

Lust looked tired, so very tired, but he was struggling to stay awake because I was there. I didn't want him to do more than he had to, so I sniffed, wiping my sockets with my sleeve, and got up.

Lust let go on my arm, looking at me sadly. "I'm so sorry." He said quietly. "If I hadn't come here, this wouldn't have happened to you." I knew he was referring to my new crack.

"Lust.. stop talking about the fucking crack. It's really nothing." I frowned, but I couldn't stay mad at him. I sat down on the edge of the bed again, watching his tired eyelights scan my face.

"Go to sleep. You look exhausted." I took his hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. He looked up at me, his eyelights hazing with drowsiness. He smiled softly again and closed his sockets, bringing my hand closer to him.

I watched the rise and fall of his ribs. How sad was it that he could still trust me after that?

...

How sad was it that I still wanted him to?

 


	14. Diary Entry 13, Oct. 30

_The handwriting is a little shaky._

Dear Diary,

These past few days have been difficult. It seems that once Boss has gotten a taste of Lust, he's only become even more obsessed with him.

There are days when all I can hear is Lust's voice crying out painfully. Those cries are also mixed with strangled, pleasured moans, which I know he can't help but make. But that still doesn't stop the heat building inside of me at the sounds he's making.

I've spent most of these days just crying, sitting in the corner of the room by myself. I make sure to be quiet so they can't hear me in the next room, but to be honest, I think they're too preoccupied to hear. They're pretty loud anyways.

Why did this have to happen? I can feel my soul aching for the one I love. For the pain he's in. But I can't interfere. I can't stop Boss from doing this to him, because he'll dust me for sure if I do. And I'm too scared to die.

The only good thing coming out of this is that Boss is too entranced with Lust to pay any attention to me at all. I can literally do anything, and he probably wouldn't care. I don't have to be scared that he'll beat me, so long as I stay out of his business with Lust.

Even though I hate being in the house now that I can hear them no matter where I am in here, I still stay because I'm pretty sure I'm the only thing keeping Lust together right now.

After some of the "sessions" he has with Boss, I sneak in to see him. It's soulbreaking, seeing him lying there, crying and naked and broken. But every time I enter the room, his face actually loses a bit of pain, softening into a smile just for me.

I have to be careful though. I can't go in everytime, or else Boss might find me in there. And if he finds me in there, things aren't gonna be pretty. 

Today's "session" seemed to last longer than most. There would be no sounds at all, and then at random intervals, I could hear Lust's pained gasps over Boss's low huffing.

After awhile, it was quiet again. I knew that Boss was still not done with Lust, but their quietness made me curious. So I crept up to Boss's door, taking care to be extremely quiet. I didn't want him noticing I was there.

The door was open a crack. Boss didn't really care about closing the door because he didn't think he had anything to hide, since only I would be in the house. I knelt next to the door crack and peeked through the sliver of space into the room.

Lust was slumped against the bedframe, ribs rising and falling in fast, panicked breaths. He had a gag ball tied around his mouth, so the sound was barely audible. His hands were tied behind his back. Boss's red cum was already dripping out of his opening and he seemed to be having a minor panic attack.

Boss didn't seem to know that Lust was hyperventilating. The sound _was_ pretty muffled by the gag. If he had noticed, he didn't care. He smirked at his prey, running a hand down his own slick member.

"I love making you fall apart, my little pet. You're always so composed, so _emotionless_ around me. But now, when I approach you, I can see the fear in your eyes. And it's so.. _delicious_.." Boss licked his tongue across his teeth and the smaller skeleton made a faint whimper of fright.

"I will properly train you. I will make you beg for my cock, screaming my name as I plunge into you. And even as your climaxing, I will continue to fuck you so hard that you have no choice but to peak again. And when you're crying for me to stop, I'll thrust my whole dick inside you so hard that you'll **break**."

Lust made a terrified squeak, his whole body trembling in fear. His violet eyelights had shrunk so small that they were practically pinpricks. But there was nowhere to go. I could still see the black leather collar around his cervical vertebrae that prohibited him from using his magic.

Boss reached out and undid the gag ball silencing Lust. The minute it was off, he gulped in a stuttered breath. His body was still trembling, but it seemed to subside a little now that his airway wasn't restricted.

Boss tsked. He took Lust's chin in his hand and lifted his skull so his gaze was focused on him. Lust looked back at him, his eyelights trembling. "Poor little pet. You look so scared." He frowned at him. "Shhh.. breathe.."

Lust swallowed, trying to calm his frantic breathing. He looked up at Boss, his eyelights fearful.

"There, now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Boss murmured, smirking in amusement. He leaned down, pulling Lust closer to him. Lust whimpered, struggling weakly, but of course, he was not stronger than Boss.

Boss pulled him close so that their knees were touching. Lowering his scarlet eyelights, he brushed his tongue against the smaller skeleton's neck, making him shiver. It seemed like the purple-eyed skeleton was barely breathing, his sockets lidded as he held very still.

"Ahhh!" Lust's body arched as Boss suddenly lifted him and forced him onto his slick cock all in one move. Tears were pricking at Lust's sockets as he tried to adjust to the bigness of Boss's member.

Boss hummed thoughtfully, a small smile of false sympathy coming across his face. "How sad that you can't love anyone. But don't worry. I can change that." He leaned in, brushing the side of Lust's skull with his teeth. The smaller skeleton trembled under his touch.

"I will _make_ you love me. You'll love me and no one else. Because you are **mine**." Boss's crimson eyelights took on a dangerous look as he smiled at the violet-eyed skeleton in front of him.

I thought Lust was going to start hyperventilating in fear or _something_ that showed he was afraid. Because if I were him, I sure as hell would've been.

But instead, he managed to pull his pained expression into a defiant glare. "Hf hff.. I'll n-never love you. Never in a th-thousand years."

Boss's sockets narrowed as he took in Lust's words. He thrusted harder into the smaller skeleton, forcing his entire length into him.

Lust cried out in pain, tears streaking down his face. He slumped against Boss, shivering. Boss smirked down at the trembling figure, stroking the top of his skull, but I could see that he wasn't happy. His eyelights seemed to be clouded over with barely concealed anger.

Apparently he wasn't used to not getting his way. But this was one thing he really couldn't change. No matter how much he abused Lust, he couldn't change my softer version's feelings. Maybe one day, Boss would realise that not everything goes his way.

 


	15. Diary Entry 14, Nov. 6

_The handwriting is a little shaky._

Dear Diary,

Oh God. I can't believe it had even happened. I can still feel my body shaking. But it's not from fear.

Boss hasn't fucked Lust for the past few days. It's almost a relief, if it hadn't put me on edge. It was like I should expect something bad to happen.

From my room, I heard Boss leave his room, most likely to prepare breakfast or clean the house. I wasn't really sure.

It was a chance decision, but I decided to go see Lust. This was dangerous, since I wasn't sure if Boss would return fast or take a long time. But I had to see him. I hadn't seen Lust for the past few days because Boss had been keeping close to his room, spending almost every second with Lust.

I pushed the door open a crack, it creaking eerily because of the rusty hinges. Inside, I could see that Lust was lying down on Boss's bed with his back to the door. I couldn't tell if he was just resting or sleeping.

I tiptoed up to the side of the bed. "Psst. Hey, Lust." I whispered, keeping my voice low. I didn't want Boss to hear that I was in his room.

Lust stirred at the sound of my voice, turning around to look up at me. He blinked his sockets slowly, as if he had just woken up. I could feel my soul start to pound at the sleepy look in his eyes.

He smiled. "Hey Fell." He stretched a little, yawning in the process. Turning his lidded gaze back to me, I could see that his eyelights had already begun to become more focused.

"H-How are you doing?" Oh my God. I mentally slapped myself. Why did I always say the stupidest things!? Of course he wasn't doing well. I shouldn't even have to ask that.

Lust only quirked an eyebrow ridge at me, smiling a little. "About as good as I can. You?"

I sighed a little in relief. No matter how dumb or weird I was, Lust was always able to make me feel comfortable. "Not too hot either. This sounds weird, but would you understand if I said this is just as hard for me as it is for you?"

Lust sighed. "Of course not. I understand completely. I'm sorry that I had to come here and ruin everything.."

Seriously? This again? "Lust, you didn't ruin _anything_. None of this is your fault. You're the one getting the bad end of the stick here." I huffed in annoyance. Sometimes I wish I could slap some sense into my duplicate.

Lust grabbed my sleeve, startling me. "Can we talk about something else?" He said quietly. "I don't really want to think about it."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." I felt so guilty. This was probably one of the few times he could take a break from this harsh reality. The best I could do was make it happy for him.

I sat on the bed next to him, and he sat up, so that we were side by side. We began to talk about the most insignificant things, from favourite nice cream flavours to books we read. I was having such a good time with him that I didn't even notice a shadow at the door.

Suddenly, Lust stiffened, a look of pure fear flashing across his face. Wha-? Why was he..

I turned around slowly. Oh fuck.. He was standing right there in the doorway, and he did _not_ look happy.

Boss' s eyelights were glowing dangerously red. He looked like he was ready to murder someone. I felt frozen to my spot, afraid to even move under his piercing gaze.

"M-Master~.." I jolted at the sound of Lust's voice, turning to look at him. Holy shit..

Lust had pushed himself onto his knees on the bed. His violet eyelights were smoldering under lidded sockets and his cheekbones were dusted a lilac colour. He was holding the base of his ecto-cock, which he had just summoned and was running a finger over the slit at the top.

"Hnnn.. I n-need you so badly~.. Please help me~.." I shivered at the seductive tone saturating his melodic voice and the display he was putting on. I was pretty sure I was blushing like crazy and I could feel my own erection forming underneath my pants. And I wasn't even the person he was aiming this at.

"Pl-Please~.. I think I'm l-leaking~.."

"Ahh~!" I watched with wide eyelights as a bead of precum formed at his member and dripped down the side. H-Holy f-fuckkk..

My soul was pounding so fast, I wasn't even sure I could keep up with it. I could feel drool forming inside my mouth. Even through my lust-crazed brain, I could still feel shock.

I remember peeping into Boss's room one time. Boss had said something that surprised me.

"Why won't you cum? I've fucked you so hard and for so long and you still haven't cummed at all."

That was when I realised that Lust could make himself stop cumming if he wanted to. Maybe part of it was practice, maybe part of it was because he felt nothing for the people he did it with. But whatever it was, he could do it.

So I was surprised when I watched Lust stroke himself some more and let out a lewd moan as more cum leaked out of his tip. Oh God. I knew I had to be a mess right now. I had to squeeze my legs together to hide the telling glow and just focus on my rapidly beating soul, otherwise I was actually gonna start drooling.

Lust made a quick cursory glance at me. In that glance, he had lost all the seductiveness he had been playing up, and instead, seemed to be warning me with his eyelights.

It had only lasted a second, but that glance snapped me out of my daze. With much difficulty, I wrenched my eyelights away from Lust and looked over at Boss, who still stood at the doorway.

Boss was much more composed than me, but I could see the hunger in his crimson eyelights. I could tell he was also having trouble controlling himself.

He suddenly stormed over to the bed and slammed Lust against the wall. Lust yelped out in surprise, his eyelights hazing with pain.

"Do you think I'm so weak as to be distracted by you? I know what you're trying to do." Although his growl was menacing, he seemed to have to physically restrain himself  from pushing Lust down and fucking the daylights out of him. The desire burning in his eyelights was frightening.

Lust faltered a bit, but he glanced at me again. I was still frozen to my spot, but for different reasons now. I was pretty sure I was having trouble breathing and my face was burning red.

Lust turned back to Boss, his violet heart-shaped eyelights growing bigger. Their largeness made him look vulnerable and innocent. He looked up at Boss again, his expression one of scared timidness.

"I-I don't know what you're t-talking about. I-I just want you so bad. I need you inside m-me~" He made his voice purposely tremble to sound vulnerable, but he still managed to keep the seductive edge to his tone.

Boss watched him with an expression of animalistic desire. I could tell Lust was trying not to look afraid. What was he doing!? Why was he doing this!? I knew Lust had to be scared out of his mind, but he was very good at hiding it.

I could finally feel my limbs. Getting up, I slowly backed away from them towards the door. I had to get out of here before Boss realised that he had forgotten about me.

Lust seemed to relax a little as he saw me making my way towards the door. But he seemed to realise that he had to keep up the display, even if I was almost out the door. Just one second of Boss regaining his wits, and I would be dead.

Lust leaned in, stretching up so he could reach Boss's cervical vertebrae. He flicked out his tongue and began licking between the individual bones of his neck.

I was surprised to see Boss actually jolt at Lust's touch, a moan escaping past his teeth. Lust really was an expert at this stuff. He seemed to know exactly what to do to make people fall apart. Too bad the only thing he seemed to be unfamiliar with was anal sex.

"F-Fuck me please~" Lust breathed, his voice still dripping seductively. Wow.. I wasn't sure if I should be more impressed with his acting or his bravery. He had to be extremely scared right now, but he was literally asking Boss to do the thing he feared most, just to make sure I was safe.

I finally made it out of the doorway, heading back to my room. Going inside, I closed the door behind me and sat down on my bed, hiding underneath the covers. I could feel my guilt threatening to consume me.

Why was I such a coward? I was letting Lust do this for me. He was protecting my sorry ass because I was too scared to confront Boss. And now, he had to do the one thing that terrified him more than anything because of me.

That was when I realised. That was the first time Lust had called Boss "master".

Lust's piercing scream echoed through the house.

 


	16. Diary Entry 16, Nov. 16

Dear Diary,

Welp. It's actually happening. I'm going to the camp. I don't know how long I'll be there. A few weeks at least? I'm not really sure. Will I even last a few weeks?

Boss actually came with me to drop me off at the camp. He hasn't given a shit about me for so long that I would've been touched if it had been any other act. It's in WaterFall, since Undyne is the main camp leader or whatever. I don't think I've been to this part of WaterFall before though. It's a fairly large dry patch of land with a few echo flowers here and there. 

"Hey punk!" I tried to compose my face into an indifferent mask as I looked up to meet our renowned Captain of the Guard. "It's nice to see that you guys changed your mind about the camp. You won't regret it!" She bared her fangs in a smile. I had to hold back a snort. Yeah. I wouldn't regret this.

"Yes, yes, yes. Now, I want you to make sure you know you're giving Sans only what he is capable of." Although Boss was still a dickhead, it seemed that he still had a few doubts about the camp. 

"Yeah, of course Papyrus! This camp is only meant to train monsters to be stronger." She smiled proudly again, obviously satisfied by her camp's reputation. Papyrus frowned slightly, but let it go. He looked down at his watch. "I'll have to head back soon." To check on Lust, no doubt. Boss turned towards me. "Behave Sans. And don't get killed." I laughed internally. Yeah, good luck with that. 

"Yes Boss." I answered gruffly. My voice was quiet because I didn't want it to break from all the emotions I was feeling right now. Boss scrutinised me a little more before seeming to deem me to be stable. Like I was anything close to stable as of the moment. 

Boss strode off towards the general direction of Snowdin, leaving me with Undyne and a small bag with a couple of my things. She turned towards me. "Alright punk! If you wanna get into shape, this camp will make sure you're a prime fighting machine! C'mon!" She motioned for me to follow, going through an arched opening near one of the cavern walls. I followed behind numbly, not really feeling anything. It was better to shut everything out.

We passed many different hallways cut straight into the stone, the designs along the walls, ceiling, and even floor fitting a beautiful, but somehow still aquatic, theme. Everything seemed to be lit purely by the fluorescent blue glow of randomly situated pools, mushrooms, or echo flowers. However, their arrangement still fit the theme and somehow made it even more beautiful. 

After passing through many twisting hallways, Undyne led me to a room that actually had carpet. Inside, there were multiple alcoves cut into the stone where mattresses and pillows were set. "This is the barracks, where you'll be sleeping with the other recruits! Down the hall is a rec room for y'all to hang out and whatnot. Bathrooms are 'round the corner. We just passed the kitchen earlier, where you and the other recruits will have all your meals. You'll be called for training and mealtimes, but other than that, you're free to spend your time however you wish."

Heh. Didn't sound too bad. But from what I've heard, training took up most of the day, and the rest of the time was usually spent resting up for training the next day. Maybe other monsters could handle that, but I wasn't sure if I was able to. And I didn't even know what we were doing for training yet. 

My skeptical feelings must've shown on my face. "Hey punk, don't worry about it. You'll be _fine_. Your Papyrus's brother!" I winced at that. Heh heh, yeah. Living up to my brother's name. 

"I'll let you get settled in. There'll be around 20-ish so recruits, but since you're the first here, you'll have some time to yourself before they come. Have fun!" She gave me a big toothy grin before turning and bounding down the hallway. 

I looked around at all the alcoves set into the stone, counting 25 of them. Guess most of them would be filled when the other recruits came. I walked all the way to the back of the room, choosing a lower bunk. I didn't want to accidentally injure my already weak HP by falling out of one of the top bunks, and frankly, I didn't really wanna socialise with any of the other recruits. Being in the back meant that I was the last person they'd see, and most likely the most away from the crowd. 

Climbing into the little alcove, I found that the mattress wasn't much more comfortable than the one I had back at home. But I wasn't picky. Resources were pretty limited down here after all. Set into the inside of the alcove wall, I noticed there were actually shelves carved in so you could put your personal possessions on them. How convenient. 

I took out my bag, riffling through it. I didn't really bring much. Just a spare change of my usual clothes and some usual bathroom essentials. Pausing, I felt my hand brush the smooth surface of an object in my pack. I pulled it out, looking at it. Smiling softly, I remembered how I had gotten this.

_(Random flashback)_

"Hey Fell!" I turned towards the melodic voice that I've come to love. Seeing the lithe figure skipping gracefully through the echo flowers towards me sent my soul into a stuttered frenzy. 

"Look at this." He held out his hand. In it, there was a strangely coloured stone. It was a normal smooth grey colour, but there seemed to be light sparkling in it. "Huh. That's weird." I shrugged it off. Lust looked put off by my lack of interest. "I thought it was kinda pretty." I scoffed. "It's just a rock, bud." Besides, nothing in UnderFell was really pretty. Besides maybe those deep, purple eyelights..

I shook my skull out of my daydreams, hoping my face wasn't as red as it felt. Lust didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he had the courtesy to pretend not to notice. Instead, he turned away from me to glide through the echo flower field again, whispered words following his wake.

_(Flashback changes to another one a few days later)_

We rested by the edge of one of the many pools in WaterFall, just listening the endless dripping water and enjoying each other's company. Lust was resting against my chest, playing with a echo flower chain he was making. I was still not used to this proximity, but we had been in that position for awhile now, so I had relaxed somewhat. 

"Hey, Fell."

"Hmm?" I looked down at the figure in my lap. "I have something for you." He sat up, turning around to face me as he searched the pockets of his borrowed jacket.

"Close your eyes." I squinted in confusion. "Why?"

"Just do it." I sighed, closing my sockets. This was super dumb, but _tibia_ honest, I didn't really mind playing along with Lust. It was kinda fun.

A smooth, slightly heavy object dropped into my hand. Blinking, I looked down at it.

Whoa.. it was some kind of heart-shaped runestone, with many sparkling lights at the center of it. I turned it over. The light seem to emanate from it, glowing a little brighter when it was moved.

I looked up at him. "Where did you get this?" He only smiled at me slyly. What was that look?

"I thought you said it was just a rock." He kept his smug smirk on his face. Blanching, I realised that this was the rock he had tried to show me earlier this week.

"Oh my fucking God, Lust." I laughed. "Okay, okay, you got me this time. It _is_ very pretty. But how did it become like this?"

He looked down at it, the stone's light shining off of his face. "After I found it, I decided to try and carve it into a new shape using other rocks." He smiled up at me. "The heart shape is a very important symbol where I come from. It represents many different things. Patience, integrity, justice, perseverance, kindness, bravery, determination."

"But most importantly, it represents love." I could feel my soul beat faster as I took in his words. Did that mean..?

"I wanted to give you this symbol to remind you that although your world is filled with hate and misery, there will always be love. Don't give up hope. You'll find love one day." Oh.. So I guess it wasn't what I thought it was..

I still really liked the gift though. It was very meaningful. And it was from Lust.

Lust leaned forward, looking me straight in the eyelights. My soul stuttered at his closeness. "Remember, it is not always easy to see the beauty inside." He put his hand lightly on my sternum. I hoped he couldn't hear my frantically pounding soulbeat.

"It's inside everyone, Fell. Even here."

_(Flashback ends)_

I stared at the glowing heart-shaped stone, turning it over in my hands. Sighing, I put it on the shelf along with my bag. Today was gonna be a long day.

 


	17. Diary Entry 15, Nov. 15

_The handwriting is very shaky. There seems to be parts where the pencil has poked holes._

Dear Diary,

What have I done? Too much has happened today. I didn't think this through. And now, because of my stupidity, I may be sentencing Lust to an even worse fate than the one he has now.

It was around midday. I had started staying less and less frequently in the house these past weeks. It's cowardly, but I just can't take hearing Lust with Boss. His pained screams, his choked moans. It's too much for me.

It's not like Boss even notices me anymore, or cares. I've been spending most of my time at Grillby's. It's one of the few places in UnderFell that is actually guaranteed safe, since Grillby doesn't allow fighting in his restaurant.

The mindless chatter with other patrons and the alcohol helps me forget what's happening at home. But it never lasts. I'm a pretty bad lightweight, so I can never drink too much, otherwise I'll be too far gone. Though sometimes, I think that's better than facing what's really happening.

I had just returned home from another excursion to Grillby's. I didn't really want to come home early, but sometimes the presence of so many other monsters overwhelms me. I'm still a pretty awkward socialite.

Suddenly, I heard Lust scream. It wasn't uncommon to hear that, but for some reason, this scream was different. Other times, it had been mostly from pain. But this time, I could hear the palpable fear in his voice. It was like he was scared for his life, not just because of the pain.

Going against all my instincts, I rushed upstairs to Boss's room. The door was flung wide, probably because Boss had been too hasty to close it. I winced at what I saw, my face heating up.

Lust was pinned down to the bed, his ribs pressed against the mattress. His face was drenched in tears and his eyelights had grown small in fear. I could already see Boss's red cock pulsing inside of Lust's walls. He leaned over the smaller body, a smirk plastered on his face as he rocked his hips rhythmically against him.

Boss was running a knife across Lust's exposed bones, making Lust's breath hitch in fright. The knife had just grazed his cervical vertebrae, leaving a thin line of blood. That was why Lust had screamed earlier.

Oh God. He only had 1 HP! Did Boss know? I faltered in the doorway, unsure if I should intercede. My face was burning red at seeing Boss literally fucking Lust right there. But if I interrupted, something horrible was sure to happen to me.

Lust, breathing heavily, turned his skull toward the door when he heard me running upstairs. "R-Red.. h-h-help.." His sockets had gone black in utter terror.

I didn't even process that he had used the nickname we made in the fields. I could only stand there, rooted to the spot, undecided and terrified.

Boss paused his motions, turning to look at me. His eyelights gleamed dangerously red, as if he was just daring me to try to step out of line. I gulped, sweat beading on my forehead.

Slowly, I backed away from the doorway. Lust watched me with a look of devastation. "Pl-Please.. R-Red, I-aaAHH!" Boss had forced his whole length into Lust, making him arch and cry out in pain. He sobbed, trembling against the bedsheets as Boss began to set a faster speed.

No.. I couldn't. I couldn't interfere. I swallowed back my guilt, turning and running away. How could I do this? My mind was warring against each other, threatening to break apart. I was torn with guilt and self-preservation. How could I do this to the one I loved? Why was I such a coward?

I ran until my legs gave out. I collapsed to my knees, sobbing in large heaving tears. I didn't even know where I was anymore, just that I was still in Snowdin, because I could feel the snow underneath me. I stayed there, on my knees, crying for all I was worth. It was just too much. I was so pathetic. 

I stayed there, in the snow, long after my tears had run dry. It was so cold, but it numbed me of feeling. I wanted to stay there until I was frosted over, so that maybe I wouldn't feel this soul-wrenching pain. It was kinda nice, feeling the cold seep into my bones and leaving me numb. I lay there, staring up at the frosted trees surrounding me. 

Eventually, I got up. I knew I had to. As much as Boss didn't get me a shit anymore, he still needed to be sure I was still _there_ , under his control. I stumbled, my legs frozen from being in the snow for so long. I decided that it was better to teleport, and focused on making my magic take me home.

I didn't know how long time had passed. It could've been 5 minutes. It could've been 5 hours. When I stumbled into the house, there was no sound coming from Boss's room. He must've stopped playing with Lust by now. Maybe I _had_ been gone for awhile. 

I froze, seeing Boss sitting at the kitchen table as I was about to go upstairs. Nervous sweat beaded on my skull. He had been waiting for me.   
I slowly walked over to the table, my joints popping stiffly from being in the snow. He watched me approach with an impatient look, drumming his fingers lightly on the tabletop.

"What took you so long?" He snapped, a disapproving glare coming across his face. I looked down sullenly, not wanting to say anything that might anger him. But I still had to answer, otherwise he'd get mad anyway.

"I.. I took a walk." I kept my scarlet eyelights downcast, not wanting to make Boss think I was challenging him by looking him in the eye.

Boss hummed in annoyance. "It doesn't matter. I have some news for you. Sit down." He commanded, pointing at the chair closest to him. I followed his orders numbly, my mind blank.

"I've decided to send you to Undyne's training camp." Boss announced. My crimson eyelights widened in horror. What!?

"Bu-But Boss!" I stammered. "I thought we agreed that that camp is too rough for me! I might be too weak to even survive the training!"

"Yes, yes." Boss brushed me off with a wave of his hand. "Of course I remember discussing that. I know you're afraid you might not be able to handle the strenuous training from the camp, but I don't think you'll dust because of it, contrary to what we said before. I think it's good for you. It might even strengthen your HP."

I swallowed. This wasn't about me, wasn't it? This was about Lust. Boss just wanted me out of the picture, so he could have more time alone with Lust. I couldn't do that. I could already see that Lust's mental stability was deteriorating. The only thing holding him together was his own determination, and me.

But my absences at the house and that final act of running away when he called for my help was probably making it worse for him. The thought made me feel sick. Him spending time alone with Boss would not help at all.

"I-I can't. Please, Boss, I might die if I go!" I could feel tears brimming at my sockets. "What if I die?"

Boss's eyelights hardened. "That's your problem, whelp. Toughen up for once and you'll be fine."

I could feel myself beginning to hyperventilate. Oh God. He was serious. He was actually sending me to the training camp.

He knew I probably wouldn't be able to handle it! I was a super weak monster. The rigorous training might literally kill me! Undyne had been asking to recruit me to the camp for awhile now, since I was Boss's brother. The camp was supposed to train recruits to become royal guardsmen.

However, the camp was renowned for being incredibly difficult. Not many were allowed to attend. Only those who were invited. Many monsters wanted to attend the camp to have a better chance at being a part of the Royal Guard, but Boss had agreed not to let me join because of my weak HP.   
Now, it seemed that he didn't hold any concerns over it anymore. 

I swallowed back my fear. Arguing with Boss was gonna get me nowhere. When he sets his mind to something, he will carry it out.

"Y-Y-Yes, Boss. I'll go.." Oh God, what have I done?

 


	18. Diary Entry 17, Dec. 7

_The handwriting seems a little larger and loopier. Some parts of the writing are a little light, as if the writer was too tired to press down._

Dear Diary,

It's been three weeks.

Three gruesome weeks of hard, back-breaking work.

I'm finally going back home tomorrow. It's my last day here. I haven't had the time at all to write in here ever since the camp started. Today, our very _last_ day, we've been given the entire day off to pack and get ready to go home.

Right now, I'm currently hiding in one of the spare storage closets so that the other recruits won't find me. It's not easy finding a place where they won't find me, but I've gotten good at seeking out hiding places.

The recruits hadn't been the worst part of the camp. They just didn't help ease the already difficult atmosphere. At all.

By the time all the recruits had come, it was pretty obvious that I was the runt of the pack. Everyone was pretty large and beefy. I was there with my 5" height and 10 HP.

I don't really blame them. Everyone here is just naturally violent and inclined to cause misery in others. Besides, they could've been much more nastier to me anyways.  The only reason they probably weren't, to be honest, was only because the training tired them out too.

Other than the bullying, which ranged from snide remarks to even physical abuse, everything was just.. tiring. Training was horrendous. We were practically in a boot camp (which I guess that was what it was).

We ran 30 miles almost every day, and were timed against each other. Whoever finished last had to do the chores to keep up the facilities. That could be washing dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, dusting every single shelf, you name it. We probably had that as a chore.

And because I was the weak runt, I almost always had to do those chores. I was always already tired after the training, and so the chores would only make me feel like I wanted to fall over from my already exhausted ordeal.

I guess the other recruits got a kick out of me being the most pathetic out of the bunch, because their favourite thing to do was bully me. When I was doing my chores, the recruits would yell out insults or demand I pick up their trash. Of course, I just wanted to retort back that maybe _they_ were the trash I needed to pick up, but whenever I got smart-alecky with them, it usually ended with a physical fight.

Not like I didn't put up a fight or anything. My magic is actually pretty powerful for a monster. It's just difficult to use at close quarters, and once one of them gets a hold of me, it got really difficult to even summon a bone without accidentally beaning myself in the face as well. And that would _not_ have been beneficial for my 10 HP.

So I usually just ignored their cat-calling, going about with finishing my chores. It wasn't easy, what with them throwing random bits of trash at me at random intervals, but it's easier to ignore than to get into a fistfight.

Training is really hard. _Really_ , _really_ hard. Even the beefier recruits are huffing and puffing after our workouts, so you can imagine how _I'm_ feeling after them. Sometimes I feel like I'm literally dying, my whole body aching so bad and my breath barely wheezing out of me. It's just too much for really anyone, not just a weakling like me. But I don't die from it, so I live another day to wake up for training while my bones are still creaking from yesterday. 

My favourite part of the day is when it's super late at night, around 11:30 pm, which is when we are finally allowed to sleep. Us recruits seem to have a silent mutual understanding that this short amount of time before sleep is left peaceful and untouched so that we can get our rest for the next day. Most days, I usually conk out the minute my skull hits the pillow. We all do. That's how tired we all are. But the days where I manage to stay up just a few minutes before I fall asleep, I can be comforted by the soft glow from Lust's gift. 

I hope he's doing okay. I haven't seen him for about a month now. I never even got to say goodbye to him. Boss wouldn't let me into his room after our discussion about the camp. I'm afraid to see how Lust is doing now, after so long a time of me away from the house. I wish I could've been there for him, but I'm just too much of a wuss to go against Boss. 

I just want to see him again. 

 


	19. Diary Entry 19, Dec. 12

Dear Diary,

I don't know if I can face Lust again. Everything has just gone downhill. He's a strong monster, but his composure, his _mind_ , is cracking. I wish I could do something.. anything..

I know he's still in there. The times that I _am_ at the house, though I rarely am, I can see instances where he hasn't really gone insane. That he's still Lust under his broken exterior.

And I hope it's all just an act, the hallucinations of my brother being his brother, that Boss isn't hurting him. I really do hope. Because I know Lust, and when it comes to hiding his true feelings, he is a master at it.

But if the former is true, if he really is starting to lose his mind, then I don't know what I'll do. The thought of losing him makes the pain in my chest increase. My love for him has only grew. It has never wavered. Even though it's stupid of me to feel this way, since I'm pretty sure that Lust could never love me.

But how could anyone, even someone as strong as Lust, withstand this torture? This _Hell_? No sane person would be able to last long under the same conditions as him. He's held out for so long. It's obvious that he's not coming out of this unscathed. But how much of his mind is really lost?

I was going to leave the house again today, but something stopped me. Maybe it was the way Lust's voice had sounded when I passed Boss's door, but I stopped and knelt at the door, peering through the crack.

"No! St-Stop! N-N-No more, please.. I-I can't.." Lust cried, shaking violently under Boss's firm grip. His beautiful lilac-coloured eyelights shined with tears as he struggled frantically against Boss.

I swallowed. So there was still hope. He wasn't induced with his hallucinations all the time. Maybe it was an off and on thing, certain words or actions triggering his already mentally unstable mind. He was still in there. He was still him.

"Keep still, dear." Boss purred, putting more of his weight against Lust. His struggling died down as he was effectively pinned to the bed.

"I d-d-don't want you! Why can't y-you u-understand that! L-Let me go!" Lust screamed, shivering in fear. His voice was choked with sobs.

"No one is here for you. Everyone has abandoned you, can't you see?" Boss murmured, leaning down to brush against Lust's skull. Lust shivered. "Your brother isn't here. Your friends aren't here. Even my idiotic brother has abandoned you in his cowardice."   
Tears were tracking down Lust's face as he took in Boss's words. "N-No.. That's not tr-true.." But his indecision showed on his face, a fact that Boss did not miss.

"There's no one except me. You don't need anyone else." Boss said softly, kissing Lust's cheekbone lightly. This time, he didn't even flinch, merely looking devastated and sad. He turned his skull away, closing his sockets as his tears slipped past his lids, finally submitting.

"NO!!" I wanted to scream. "Don't listen to him!! Don't give up! Please!! I'm still here, my love! I'm still here.."

"Please.."

"Don't give up.."

I sank to the floor, putting my face in my hands. How could I even think that when I myself was already so close to giving up?

How could I think that when I just stood by, watching the love of my life get hurt, broken down until he was reduced to nothing? How could I just watch.. not doing anything..

How..   
.  
.  
.

..Why..

WHY..

WhY waS I sUch a **CowArd**..?

 


	20. Diary Entry 20, Dec. 14

Dear Diary,

I decided to go to the echo flower fields today. It's one of the few places where I can find true serenity in my hopeless situation.

Sitting amongst the whispering buds, I felt almost at peace. It was easy just to lose yourself in the sounds around you, not to let yourself think or anything. Just _be_.

Sometimes, I would catch a lilting fragment of my own voice among the petals. Even more so, I would hear Lust's tinkling laughter mixed with my rough voice. The flowers had captured the remnants of our conversations all those times ago when we had visited here together.

I brushed my hand against a flower next to me. "So hypothetically, what would you wish for if you found one?" Lust's lyrical voice hummed in response to my touch.

My gruff voice answered back. "I already said, they don't exist, so you can't even "make a wish" or whatever that crap is."

I chuckled slightly to myself, my scarlet eyelights misting with sad reminiscence. This was the conversation we had had together about that stupid "3-leaf echo flower" tale Lust had gone on and on about.

Lust's soft voice replied in response to my scathing remark. "It's just hypothetical though."

An annoyed huff followed, before my voice spoke up again. "I guess.. I would wish for frenzy to have never been created, or for the monsters not be become so violent."

"What about you?"

Lust gave a thoughtful hum. "Hmm.. I would probably give the flower to the person I loved, so they could make their wish."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, why?" The flower echoed Lust's incredulity.

"Wh-What? Isn't it obvious? Why wouldn't you want to make the wish? You found it yourself!" My disbelief was obvious.

"I don't really have anything to wish for. If I got a wish, I feel like it should go to someone more deserving than me."

The flower gave a disbelieving splutter. "What about improving your life at home?"

The blue plant seemed to droop under the heaviness in Lust's voice. "The things that happened to me have already happened. I'll hold them forever inside of me. There's nothing that could change that."

"And besides, like I said, I'm not worth it. I'd rather give my wish to the person I love, if I do love someone in the future, so that I could see them happy. Because if I love them, then seeing them happy will make me happy, and that'll be the best wish that I could ever have."

I paused, my fingers hovering over the flower, not touching it to activate the next part of the conversation.

To love someone so much that you would give up your only wish for them.. I swallowed, tears brimming at my sockets. How ironic of me to not have understood that at the time. But at the same time, I guess it wasn't really that ironic. It made sense that I hadn't thought that way. I was a selfish coward, who only ever thought for himself.

But that was all I had ever known my whole life. Everyone else acted the same, looking out for their own self-interests and disregarding others'. How was I supposed to know any better?

But now I knew. I knew because I could feel the pain within my soul everyday as I watched my brother take what I loved and tear it apart. I knew because my soul, my very _being_ , cried out for my love whenever I saw him in pain.

And that was why I had run away. Just like the wimp that I was. I always ran away. It made the pain less intense that way. It might not go away completely, but it could be numbed slightly if I wasn't _there_.

I reached up, catching a tear that was beginning to track its way down my cheekbone. How pathetic was I, to cry over something like this when I wasn't even the one in pain?

As I stood up, my foot brushed the flower again. Lust's sweet voice uttered a final message.

"It's ok if you don't understand, Fell. Maybe one day you will."

I smiled sadly, tears tracking their way down my cheekbones. And I _had_ understood. But it was too late to save the one I loved.

 


End file.
